I seem to be missing the point of things lately. Life has gotten crazy and complicated. Just last night, my husband asked me if I felt things were more complicated than when we were dating. My answered was unequivocally 'yes'.
Now, some of those "complications" are absolutely adorable in their little back-packs and pony-tails. One of our biggest complications comes in a very tiny package. But having a little someone waking you up multiple times a night definitely complicates life a bit. It makes waking up for work harder. It turns something fun, like making dinner, into a chore. I love to try new recipes frequently, and I try to make as much from scratch as reasonably feasible. But when you lack energy, what is feasible is reduced to boxes more often than I'd like.
But our kids aren't the only thing making life more challenging lately. Trying to make enough money to live comfortably is certainly challenging for a lot of people right now. We're just like everyone else scrimping on the fun things just to get by. I started school just to create new options for our family somewhere down the road. I took a break for the birth of our third child, and I'm supposed to start back this January. But truth is I don't want to. I'd much rather take a little more time with my baby before the chaos of school takes over my life again.
My husband is working on starting up a business. That's been a very difficult, very expensive (for us), and very time consuming project. There have been times I've wondered if this thing is ever going to get off the ground. Starting a business certainly makes life more complicated.
But all of these complications are good, right? I certainly wouldn't trade my beautiful children for a little less stress (which would probably be in my life anyway, just in a different form). I want to get my degree and find some way to contribute to a better world that I find fulfilling and rewarding and, with any luck, lucrative. So the complications that school brings with it will pay off . . . eventually. Owning our own business will be a great source of income, hopefully, that could provide new opportunities for our family.
The question comes down to this: are we sacrificing too much? Are we letting things get too complicated and losing the balance between sacrifice and reward? Are we getting caught up in a "keeping-up-with-the-Joneses" type of mentality just because we want to take vacations to Disneyland and put our kids through music and dance lessons?
Maybe we are. Maybe we're not. It's not like there is a definite line drawn in the sand somewhere. Just because something works for one person doesn't make it a universal truth, either. So when someone starts going off about all they accomplished with small children, I just want to scream. So how is a person to tell when life has gotten out of balance? How are we to know when things have gotten too complicate, and where we get to cut back?
Priorities come up a lot in this type of discussion. Making sure you're taking care of the important things before they become urgent, and ignoring the unimportant things no matter how urgent they seem. There is always a trade-off to be made. Blah, blah, blah. The reality of it is it's much harder to figure this all out than that. So, while I'm sitting here, typing away for the sake of easing my own mind and heart, I keep hoping for some miracle answer to come my way. I keep hoping for something new to suddenly make its appearance. Am I missing the point? Is that why the answers are so elusive?
