Saying Goodbye to Our Moth Friend

For the sake of my children's privacy, I think I'm going to give them pseudonyms. Sometimes, trying to explain things with "my second child told my first child. . ." just gets too wordy. So, from here on out we'll just use pseudonyms. My eldest child will be called Lexi, my second will be called Jane, and my baby we'll call Amber. Don't ask me why I've picked these--I really couldn't say.

So, yesterday we had to say goodbye to our little moth friend who has been in residence here for the last month or so. I found him (or her) as a little caterpillar, and a second one, hanging out in an ear of corn. The girls decided if it was a boy it's name was Gus Gus, and if it was a girl it's name was Lily. And by the markings on them, it looked like one was a boy and one was a girl.

Unfortunately, one of them died. Luckily for me, by the time we realized one was gone, the other was wrapped in it's pupa so we couldn't tell which had survived. There were a lot of tears as the girls learned one was gone; and it was hotly debated which it was. I did my best to explain things to them and try to help them see the positive side. We had managed to keep one alive, and that one was going to turn into a beautiful butterfly (or so we thought).

The surviving caterpillar remained in it's pupa for a couple of weeks. The girls would check on it every few days to make sure it was still in there. I began to worry it might have died as we stretched into the third week. But then, the other night, the pupa seemed to have moved location in the mesh container without anyone having gone near it. Of course, I had no way to know for sure if anyone had touched it, but seeing that gave me hope that the 'butterfly' was still alive and might emerge soon.

Yesterday morning, I went to check on the pupa and couldn't find it. I did find, however, a spot of creamy white on the bottom of the container! I started searching for the little guy, expecting a butterfly and found our beautiful little moth!

I told the girls we could wait for Daddy to get home before we released him. Of course, Jane began having a melt down over that idea. Huge tears welled up in her eyes as she panicked at the thought of having to say goodbye. (This has been common lately. She's even been crying over my sister, who lives a block away, having to go home.) I tried to explain to her that it wasn't fair to keep him when he deserved to be free and belonged outside. I also told her that she had the rest of the day to see him and admire him.

After dinner, it came time to say our goodbyes. Jane started getting teary again. Again, I explained that he needed to be free. I had my hubby grab the camera and we all went outside to wish our little friend farewell. You can't see it in this picture, but he's fuzzy underneath. And his second set of wings has beautiful spots on them. Lexi noticed he has green eyes, the color of new leaves.

As I was holding him, he began vibrating--right about the time this picture was taken. It was almost like a buzzing sensation. He just sat there, humming. Jane wanted to hold him, but as she came near he hopped off my finger and fluttered to my husband's shoe, and then to the grass nearby. He vibrated as he held on to that blade of grass for just a few seconds before leaping into the air, circling us once before flying away. Remarkably, Jane just giggled and called one last goodbye. Lexi, in her matter-of-fact way, just said he was going to be free and fly now.

I'd like to think the lack of tears was a very good sign that Jane is learning how to cope with sad feelings. I've been concerned lately at how very little it takes for her to go into a full melt-down. She's very sensitive and gets attached to things and people quickly and deeply. I want her to understand how to express those emotions in healthy ways; that while it's normal to have these feelings, melt-downs don't help her or the situation. This experience, I think, was good for her.

So, in honor of our little friend, here is a little bit of tatting based on a drawing by Elaine Phyllis Gan. This is my own pattern based on her idea. You can seen little butterflies, or moths ;-) , floating along.

So the next time you see a little cream-colored moth, remember to say hi to Gus Gus and Lily.